DRUMMER JOKES

How do you know when the stage is level ?
The drummer is drooling out of both sides of his mouth ..

What do you call a drummer with half a brain?
Gifted.

What do you say to a drummer in a 3-piece suit ?
"Will the defendant please rise ..."

What do you call someone who hangs around with musicians?
A drummer.

Q: What's the similarity between a drummer and a philosopher?
A: They both perceive time as an abstract concept.

A drummer, sick of all the drummer jokes, decides to change his instrument. After some thought, he decides on the accordion. So he goes to the music store and says to the owner, "I'd like to look at the accordions, please." The owner gestures to a shelf in the corner and says "All our accordions are over there." After browsing, the drummer says, "I think I'd like the big red one in the corner." The store owner looks at him and says, "You're a drummer, aren't you?" The drummer, crestfallen, says, "How did you know?" The store owner says, "That `big red accordion' is the radiator."

What do drummers use for birth control?
Their personalities.

What's the difference between a drummer and a drum machine?
With a drum machine, you only have to punch in the instructions once.

What is the ideal weight for a drummerr?
About 2 kilograms, including the urn.

What does it mean when a drummer is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name?
You didn't hold the pillow down long enough.

Guy goes into a bar and says to the barman "I've got a great drummer joke,shall I tell it?"
"I should let you know first that I'm a drummer", replies the barman.
"That's okay. I'll tell it real slow!"

 

How can you tell when a drummer is at your door?
The knock gets faster.

Whats got three legs and a cunt?
A drum stool....... 

Did you hear about the time the bass player locked his keys in the car?
It took two hours to get the drummer out.

How do you get a drummer out of a tree?
Cut the rope.
[I say - thats a bit harsh....]

Did you hear about the drummer who went to college?
Me neither.

 


 

 


 

 

For your entertainment, we have scoured the net and our collective humour banks, in search of the world's finest "musical" jokes........You can choose between the following categories.......

DRUMMER JOKES , GUITAR/BASS JOKES , ASSORTED HUMOUR , RULES OF BLUES