I’m Bored. I’m thoroughly bored.
I’m completely utterly bottom-crushingly Paxmanesquely grass-cuttingly desperately tediously furry-wuckingly bored! (He’s bored)

I’ve been around the world from end to end, (end to end)
I’ve scaled Everest, Madonna & Big Ben (Bongety Bong)
And there’s nothing I’ve not tasted shagged or seen (what does he mean?)
But the sparkle in my life has lost it’s gleam….

(But then I found)

CHORUS: www fragmentlive dot com, fragmentlive dot com, fragmentlive dot com etc.

You can download photos jokes & MP3’s (yes you can)
And Fragment give you everything for free (whoopee!!)
The net’s for more than having one off the wrist (unless you're a girl)
Don’t forget to join the mailing list (give it a whirl)

CHORUS: www fragmentlive dot com, fragmentlive dot com, fragmentlive dot com etc

I’ve been and seen and done it all before (He’s a bore)
I cruise the net for 16 hours or more (He’s a wankor)
The Queen Mother & Robert Mugabe riding naked in the Derby
While the Pope was placing bets at seven to four
(are you sure?)

CHORUS:www fragmentlive dot com, fragmentlive dot com, fragmentlive dot com etc

Those who love me tell me I should take some fresh air, but I can’t seem to drag myself away.
The spirit may be willing but the flesh is rather weak & so I perambulate & peruse the time away……

CHORUS:www fragmentlive dot com, fragmentlive dot com, fragmentlive dot com etc

Outro [featuring endless ramblings on and dedications etc. etc.....]