Monday morning, I lost my job
The next-door neighbour just killed my dog
My girlfriend left me for a man called Bob
I think he’s a drummer and probably younger
I lost my wallet, my house fell down
I crashed my car, I punched a clown
He looked so happy, it was getting me down
It felt really great, so give me a break

Because I’m having a bad day, nothing is going my way
I’m really having a bad day, everything’s turning out wrong
It’s a Monday morning song

I've got no money, I've got no life
A German student just stole my bike
It wasn't mine though, so thats alright
I stole it on Wednesday, the day after Tuesday
I went to a priest, said "I want to confess
Cos nobody loves me, my life is a mess,"
He told his mates, he said he couldn't care less
"Your woman was right, get out of my sight!"

Because I’m having a bad day, nothing is going my way
I’m really having a bad day, everything’s turning out wrong
I've got bad history
Every day is the same for me
I’m a great big pink chunk of misery

Oh yeah yeah yeah
yeah yeah yeah
yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah

God's full of surprises
He don't know what the meaning of life is
He's just going through a mid-life crisis
And taking it out on me...

I threw myself on the railway line
But none of the trains ever run on time
I get the feeling my life isn’t mine
It’s not mine to take, just give me a break
Pass me the pills for pity’s sake

Because I’m having a bad day, nothing is going my way
I’m really having a bad day, everything’s turning out wrong
It’s a Monday morning song